Cappy

My real name is Chris Davis. Since becoming an atheist and later an Objectivist, my name has bothered me. There is no etymology of the name Chris that doesn’t make its way back to Christ, Jesus Christ. My full name, Christopher, actually means “Christ bearer” (derived from Late Greek Χριστος (Christos) combined with φερω (phero) “to bear, to carry”), named for a guy that apparently carried Jesus across a river. This must’ve been before he walked on water…

Then, almost a year ago now, by problem was inadvertently solved. Whilst living in California, my then boss Quent and my then/still friend Mosa were emailing each other about the creation of a capitalist-centric holiday. You see, Mosa and her beau had already created Capitalism Day as a replacement to Christmas, so Mosa of course promoted that as the official holiday of greed. Quent, on the other hand, suggested the creation of a greed holiday in addition to Christmas, perhaps around Easter. This, he said, would be even better for the market as it would create a bi-annual spending season rather than one.

And it was in this throe of creativity that Quent began naming the horrible consequences of changing Christmas to Capitalism Day, one of which would be that my name must be changed to “Cappy.” Fueled by Linda (my then/stillish boss and Quent’s then/still wife) the story made its rounds, and it wasn’t long at all before the name was bestowed upon me officially, and even those not directly tied to the event hailed me with that pseudonym.

This event I have graciously accepted, for I like nothing more than to be named after the source of wealth in the western world, rather than the source of suffering just about everywhere.